Part II: genuine admiration.

"She didn't want to be loved for her petals, she wanted to be loved for her thorns. She knew if someone loved her flaws, they would love her whole."- J.Iron Word

So as we go into a world of no expectations and gratitude(see Part 1: raging expectations), we begin to crack open the door of genuine admiration. 

Recently I was accused of idealising people, which can be a very big blind spot as Someone with Borderline personality disorder. I'm fully aware that I have a history of this, but it just doesn't feel the same as now.  Idealising people usually puts them above me, it usually ends in severe disappointment, and that's no longer my experience.
It's taken a month of using the tools available to reach inside myself to conclude whether I’m putting people on a pedestal, or simply seeing how far i have come, and how far i have got to go, and witnessed that everyone is on similar journeys, and I know I can't criticize anyone's journey without hating on my own. How exhausting and stressful it had been to try to maintain that facade.. The stress we put on ourselves from our perfectionism around learning and fucking around and finding out is rather insane.

“Show me a sane man, and i will cure him for you” -C G Jung

But I really do admire people on their journeys, if not in the moment then always in hindsight. How narcissistic it would be for me to try to control culture to fit my narrative, especially considering “everyone is useful, even as a bad example”. I think mainly of mySelf and laugh when reflecting on this. My own past and parts of my current are learning experiences, just like everyone else's.
Even those who overstep my boundaries I have admiration for, they give me evidence I will say yes to myself to maintain my self esteem and sanity. 

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” -C G Jung

 I really respect and appreciate these opportunities. I also remember being that person, my heart remains open.
“A fool who trusts everyone is the first to become wise”

This is one of the facets of the psyche I want to explore with you, if we want to. Who would you be if you had genuine admiration for humans? Would you then have genuine admiration for yourSelf?

To be totally honest, I never imagined that going from "you need to look after yourself", would have such a formidably beautiful outcome... most of the time :D